Anyway, NP training has also ended. Starting to miss trainings. Recently because of EOYs preparations and also iSpark Nite, I haven't actually went down to SALT centre and meet up with the seniors. Really miss them, but I guess studies have to come first

Talking about EOYs I'm really quite worried. So many things to "mug" for, can't really handle the pressure.

Then there's council exco elections. Didn't apply. Wanted to leave next year for NP and academics, cause I've screwed myself pretty badly this year taking up so many OTs, want to ensure I do well next year =(

I guess that's all for now, watching arsenal match. Haha

Byes

I have grown so much closer to them because of Campcraft Competition and those afternoons which I spend at SALT centre. Its just so hard to let go of all of them all of a sudden. It just feels as though a huge part of me was removed. I no longer felt whole, if I put it in a harsh way. Time simply passes so quickly when you are enjoying yourself.

Then there's still that screwed up relationship problems. Sigh, its just all mixing into one kind of feeling, confusion. I still can't decide, though I beginning to realise. She said she was mugging recently, want to wish her good luck! Hope we can meet up soon, RAWR!

Anyway, speaking of mugging, comes my another reason for depression. All the pressure for getting good grades is building up. The desire to excel is just killing me =( Now there's this new requirement of A1 for English, and I know I'm screwed. Its just an impossible task.

Now the worst thing is that there's no one to turn to. I can't tell anyone my problems and ask them for help. I've been seeking for someone whom I can turn to whenever I hit problems, though it seems impossible. All I've learnt so far is that everything that I love gets taken away eventually, so its better to not love at all...

Well, need to sleep now and mug again tomorrow. Byes...

Today was Teacher's Day and we got a half day today, dismissed at 10, blah blah blah. Anyway, we waited for NY girls, felt weird though. But I decided to maintain the current friendship we share now then take a step forward long ago so well, I felt I could handle it.

It went on pretty well, until we started playing badminton a long while later. It was really fun, enjoying myself with my friends. Then suddenly, I began feeling lost as I realised how it was possible I fell for another person. I was really stumped when I had that feeling. I decided to ignore, and really hope that I could sort it out soon.

I sprained my wrist though, downside of things. She asked me to put ice on it, which I did, though seemingly she was the only one who noticed. Weird, the irony of all that's happening is really confusing.

Then we have POP adding on to all that I'm already feeling. The seniors who I spent so much time with are passing out. Those times we spent at SALT are seemingly coming to an end. I really miss them, I just wished we had more time

It seems that everything you love gets taken away from you, be it friends or relationships. Maybe its time I learnt to put down stuff, to forget and not harper to impossible matters. Sometimes I just hope someone can enlighten me, though it seems I have to sort it out myself

I had a great time on the overall, though I was really tired today. Had a headache before and during teacher's day concert, but I guess I forced it out of me eventually. Or maybe it was all the things in my mind that over ran it.

Well, want to wish all teachers a HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY here and thank all my friends for making this day so wonderful. I really hope we can meet up soon, probably in the Sep or Dec holidays. Love you guys!

Anyway, really had fun today. CNY celebrations was epic fail in my sec sch. Alot of screw-ups and there was very little programs. I dont mind though. We got released at 9.30. -,-!!!

So waited for XT and YY at the comp lab with Matt and others. Played MH and GT, yeah! It was a pretty long wait for them to come out. Well, fortunately, they were released earlier than expected and we didnt had to wait that long.

So we took our time, really took our time, to make our way back to EF. It was really SLOW, but who cares, we arrived there at 12 plus and got chased out by the security guards... NUB... lol. But I felt they were retarded and should have at least let us sit at the foyer. Well, we managed to protest our way in anyway.

Shallnt talk about it anymore. I want to share the fun and joy of today. Met her today, and well, mixed feelings formed. It was painful to be so close at times yet miles away at the same time. I want to end it...

I cant continue. Bye

Yesterday there was council investiture. It was quite boring though. Must admit I nearly fell asleep when the GOH and the HSC president was giving their speech. Reminds me of the time when I was giving my valedictorian speech. The students down there must have been sleeping. To think back, my speech skills were really horrible. No stupid jokes and whatever. Well, at least its over.

Anyway, back to the point. Council investiture is what they call the time when councillers are batched. Yet, the irony which surrounds is that only the Exco got badged. I was like What The Pong! It was so unfair! All we do is to stand on the stage looking like statues. Anyway, on a side note, if you notice the What the Pong thing, its my new very effective way of quitting the F-word. I realise how rude and immature it is to scold it. It has been two months since I have said that word. That shows how effective it is right?

Okays so, we had to bring schools around the school for a school tour. All the prestigious schools were taken over by the Exco, so all the neighbourhood schools were thrown to us. I guess its better that way, less pressure. Haha!

So I brought a school around that was made up of two councillers only... It was fun talking to them and sharing interesting ghost stories about our schools. We even exchanged contacts in the end. Though both are older than I am, I hope we can Keep In Touch!

Well, time to sign off and do my proposal for projects day.

Chow!

Really tired already. I slept at 11 or 12 every day. Feeling sick now. Probably a fever. But there's still school tomorrow. BAD enough huh.

Yet, there's still this test on Thursday. Math is the one that spells trouble. I have my LCP CAPE on Friday too. Doomed. Anyway, CAPE stands for Cadet Assessment Promotion Exercise. Have to prepare my uniform, polish my boots, memorize NPCC knowledge, prepare drills and also WOC, which means Word Of Command. I still have council duties on Thursday. Hais

Sec 2 is like so busy. I use to have time to blog and stuff. But now? Nah. Moreover, I still have to start on my LA blog again. Something which is plainly retarded yet an easy ACE opportunity. Well, I guess that once my Campcraft Competition Training is over, I'll be a lot slacker. Hopefully then I can get the ample rest I need.

Anyway, just realised how much conflict there can be between friends. This moment you are the best of friends, and the next, you start insulting each other and the biased points shoot out with those that you are restraining when you interact with friends. Even between my own friends, I find it hard to find a friend who is willing to devote as much as I do into the friendship. It hurts when they don't, leaving me wondering whether it was worth the time and effort and all in maintaining this friendship. Some friends just come and go like the wind, but to find one that sticks up to you like honey, its like asking for the impossible.

Yet, thinking of the one person whom I would devote entirely to, would just leave me shattered. Its been so long, and contact was never possible. It was never me, and would never be. Telling myself to forget would just kill me, so leaving things in mid air, seemed to be perfect. I never knew how to handle relationships. I never would want to anyway. Seeing how things turn out all the time, I feel desperate for the love I rarely had.

Sometimes on my way home, I feel tears within me. I cant let it out. I get hurt each time the memory comes and goes. I want to take a break. Hopefully, it would be the coming New Year.

Loves and wishes...

Anyway, forget about that. Want to write about SOO, since nothing else to write about.

So, SOO, otherwise known as Secondary One Orientation. Its held like from 4th to 6th January. Yes, that means no school for all Hwa Chongnians. Cheer dumbos.

So yep, today was tiring. My throat hurts too anyway. Cheered like a crazy and lunatic person today. Ate 4 strepsils. My senior took 1 too.

However, the sec 1s just refuse to cheer with their hearts. They are like epic unethu people. Make them cheer like killing them. Told them do hand signs and raise it above their heads. They left it on all possible parts of the body but above their head. Dun understand their problem

There was still the minority who had serious attitude problem. Argued and talk back whenever we ask them to so something.

I think something fun was the water bomb mass games. It was very hectic. Sort of like the free for all bombing. I got hit like, once. Some idiot sec 1 threw it at me after I told him not to bomb buddies. Retarded sia. Then he went off laughing like a mentally challenged bastard.

Well, tomorrow is the second day of SOO. My voice is already half gone. Don't know if I can last to the last day. I better...

Sian to talk anymore. Bye